To my Anxiety suffering watchers

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CaxceberXVI's avatar
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of those of you who are currently suffering with some kind of anxiety disorder , how many of you are currently taking Antixylotics or antidepressants ?

i had a panic attack in work yesterday and now im feeling pretty low about myself . people just dont understand that i have no control over this and i dont choose to have this . 

on the one hand i thought i was doing pretty well up untill yesterday. i have good days and bad but hey, who doesnt ? and OVERALL my mental health hasn't been this good in quite some time.  there are so many people who have things worse than me and i just cant seem to justify making a fuss about it by going to the doctors or going to the therapist again .

but on the other hand , i just cant keep this up. i feel pathetic and useless when my anxiety wins . and the sheer curshing low that i always seem to dip into when something like this happens is really hard to get out of again. yesterday i REALLY wanted to just go home and cry and let it all out but when my boss said " if you want to go home its fine, we can cope without you" i got annoyed 

1. " cope without me" isnt the best choice of words because myself worth was already at a low and
2. if i go home ill be sitting all alone and miserable AND the anxiety will  STILL have won out .

so i stayed .

but as i wondered around work , hardly focusing i realised that this had been a long time coming.
i keep telling myself im doing ok but its a very fragile ok , eggshell ok.

i didnt get my braces off on monday and i didnt get paid on friday like i should have. those two things are VERY minor in the grand scheme of things and yet they were enough to send me overboard into panic. god help the poor girl who sat with me for the last part of her shift. shes go her own trouble and im sure she could have done without all that. 

i need to do something about this fragility. being just barely OK and just barely holding on to the feeling of being OK isn't enough anymore 

but at the same time im anxious about going on tablets. i take beta blockers right now. 20mg which is utterly tiny. 
but ive built up a resistance to them and so i feel i need something stronger.

so my question is, do any of you take anxiety meds? do they help? if so how? are there any really nasty side effects?

help me out here. 
© 2015 - 2024 CaxceberXVI
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TheMistressOfDiscord's avatar
Yes, I take a variety of prescriptions to cope with my anxiety. (I'll send you alist through a note if you want) Despite all I'm taking, I STILL can't hold the anxiety at bay. I have panic attacks daily and nightly, and it's really hard to find a coping skill that works. The only thing that comes remotely close to helping is simply drawing, singing, doing something I like. The nervous energy turns into a powerful voice, the shaking hands turn a piece of paper into a work of art. Not always, but It will help the hands to stop shaking if you do something with them.
I can't offer much help, Anxiety is a very individual thing. People don't seem to understand just how much impact tiny things can have, like what you mentioned, your braces not getting taken off. Something can drop on the floor, and you could collapse crying, even if it only cracked.
If you ever need to rant, feel free to note me, alright?